Jonathan Tropper: An (Apoplectic) Apology

Dear Jonathan,

May I call you Jonathan?

I am truly sorry, but I cannot continue our tweeting “relationship.”  I know this may come as an unwelcome surprise to you, especially as you are pretty much a world famous author and highly regarded screenwriter, but I can no longer, in good conscience, continue to tweet you five, six, sometimes eighteen times a night.  First of all, I have stopped (well, stopped may be an overstatement–tempered is probably more accurate) my nightly alcohol consumption, and, secondly- but no less important, I have not received a single reply from you..NOT A ONE.  I have reviewed my latest tweets to you to see if I can figure out this curious conundrum:

19 May (7 p.m.)

@Jtropper Still waiting for a reply to my 108 tweets in April…hope you are well!

19 May (7:30 p.m.)

@Jtropper Oh, and have you had a chance to check out my book yet? Here is the link (again): http://virgoebooks.com/broken-hallelujah.html

19 May (7:40 p.m.)

@Jtropper And here is the link (again) to the Romanian edition of Broken Hallelujah; you will be pleased to know it is #9 in the Romanian ebook ranking: virgoebooks.com/fructul-oprit.html …

19 May (7:42 p.m.)
 
@Jtropper Your latest book is #864 in the same Romanian ebook ranking.  But–don’t worry–I am not comparing…

19 May (8:01 p.m.)

@Jtropper I am waiting by my computer; tweet back when you get this:)

19 May (8:11 p.m.)

@Jtropper BTW–loved meeting you at your reading at the JCC in DC!

19 May (8:12 p.m.)

@Jtropper Do you remember that I had all six of your books for you to sign

19 May (8:13 p.m.)

@Jtropper and even though the line was really really long, you wrote something heartfelt

19 May (8:14 p.m.)

@Jtropper in each book (per my request)–thank you for ignoring the impatient mumblings

 19 May (8:15 p.m.)

@Jtropper from those rude people in line, especially the one who called you an “arrogant and inconsiderate groupie.”  I mean

19 May (8:16 p.m.)

@Jtropper how rude is that?  I hope you let him have it, Jonathan, when it was his turn to get his measly one book signed…

19 May (8:17 p.m.)

@Jtropper May I call you Jonathan?

So, there it is–a real mystery…If, as I strongly suspect, your continuing to NOT respond to my tweets is due to circumstances beyond your control, such as an overzealous assistant deciding that he/she is the (un)official gatekeeper of access to JT, I only hope you will be fair and take pity on him/her, remembering, perhaps, your own humble beginnings, the vagaries of your own journey–wrought with all sorts of  dips and chasms–which brought you to where you are today.  Please, Jonathan (if I may call you that), remember how it felt (feels, actually) to have a Romanian ebook ranked at #864.  And, finally, do not waste time feeling bad (or conflicted) about your radio silence–please know, really know, that I, without any feelings of ill will, accept your sincere (and heartfelt) apology………in advance.

Sincerely,

Leanne Tankel (author of Broken Hallelujah: notes from a marriage–probably yours)

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